about our wedding ceremony

The night before my wedding, we didn't have a rehearsal. We were getting married in a church that was 156 years old and had one outlet and no lights. (My students said that made me extra hipster. Whatevs, kiddies. I just do what I want.) So instead, our very small wedding party went out for sushi and other Japanese deliciousness that evening. I booked a suite for my girls and I to sleep. I stayed up making last-minute things while my bridesmaids slept. I was so excited that sleep just wasn't in the plans. Heath and I had kissed each other goodbye in the parking lot of the restaurant. He was going off with his two best friends while my bridesmaids and I were off to the hotel. I wouldn't see him face-to-face until I made it down the aisle the next afternoon. Of course, in this day and age, we texted one another throughout the night. He couldn't sleep either, and at one point said he was "working on his vows." Imagine my near heart attack reading that because we had kind of talked about writing our own vows right after we got engaged, but we didn't talk about it much after. I just assumed we were going to do the whole "repeat after me" thing. Heath wasn't joking, so since I couldn't sleep, I started writing my own vows. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I wrote, scribbled, threw away, wrote some more, scribbled, and scribbled. By the next morning, I didn't really know what to think about it, honestly. I texted Heath after he had his shower, and he said that he had memorized his and repeated them over and over to himself in the shower. Imagining my big lug of a man carefully rehearsing his wedding vows all while washing his hair was one of the cutest things that has ever entered my mind.

By many standards our wedding was really non-traditional, one tradition we did keep was not seeing each other before the wedding (We only had 2 attendants a piece, so we knew that we could take care of photos after the ceremony quickly). As a photographer, I have always enjoyed the reaction between the bride and groom when they haven't seen one another before the wedding, though I have also enjoyed photographing people who do see one another before the wedding with their "first look." It is so raw and intimate. If they are so enamored with one another, it is downright genuine. Even though we had an afternoon wedding, I craved seeing Heath all day. I really did. I was almost antsy waiting to see him. That building anticipation was one of the best feelings I have ever felt.

The fun part about this whole not seeing each other before the wedding thing was that our church only had one big room, not even a bathroom (what up, 1856? what up my Aunt Kim's camper toilet that she put behind the church? WHAT UP?). My best friend, Laura, drove me to the church, and we actually had to have Heath moved so we could pull in because the church is set in a field and didn't have a parking lot per say. To the right of the church we had a white tent and chairs set up for the reception and to the left of the church is where people parked. Laura parked her Sante Fe behind the reception tent until the ceremony started. Though I saw him...he didn't see me. Watching him smile so big, talk, and look so darn happy made my heart nearly explode (#FEELINGS), even if I didn't know what he was saying. Not to sound overly emotional but it made fall even more in love with him. It really, really did.  With no rehearsal, we totally winged the whole when our wedding party walked in, which I think added to the whimsy and charm of the day. In some ways it was like we had woken up that day and decided to get married. We didn't have every single detail planned to the umpteenth degree, but then again, that isn't really us. We didn't have a parade of our grandparents, mothers, fathers, etc. This was mostly because they asked if they could just go ahead and sit where they wanted to and let us do all the walking. We didn't have a ring bearer or flower girl. We each had our two best friends and each other and that was honestly enough. We told our best men and best gals where(ish) to stand at the front and when to walk in and such. The unknown added to the excitement, I think. Since I was walking myself down the aisle, I was so excited that my stepdaddy ("Pops") officiated our ceremony. It was such a blessing and one of my favorite and most special parts of our wedding. He is one of my favorite people on this Earth, and though I miss my daddy terribly, I cannot imagine a better person alive to lead my family.  Heath walked down the aisle with Pops, then shortly after our attendants followed. They walked in to "All I Want is You" by The Vespers, which happens to be a favorite of mine. I preferred this cover to the original by Barry Louis Polisar because though the lyrics are cute and meaningful, his voice seemed disjointed for what I envisioned for our wedding. The beautiful, upbeat harmony set the tone for our ceremony. Take a listen, if you'd like.

This also was the song I talked about here, the one that would not. stop. playing. The funniest thing that happened at our wedding, hands down. If you are confused by the photo...please read it.

Though my girlish wedding planning was pretty non-existent, I knew from the second I heard "Saeglopur" in 2007 that it would be the one I walked down the aisle to. It is beautiful, dreamy, and haunting, even if I have no idea what is being said. The English translation is "Lost at Sea," which I deemed appropriate since I feel like Heath completely wrecked my life when we fell in love. He wrecked it in that I felt/still feel lost without him, butwith him I feel most like myself and the person I most want to be. Sorry for all my mushy truth but that is what it is...the truth. (#MOREFEELINGS)

This song is extremely long, so I googled how to cut and fade songs and used the first 0:56 of this song. I actually rounded the corner at 0:38 and the song faded at 0:54. It was perfect and was exactly what I wanted it to be. People later told me that I looked like I literally floated down the aisle, and honestly, I believe them. I am pretty sure that is the best way to describe it. Floating. Walking down the aisle was in the top most vulnerable and empowering moments I have ever had. I felt naked and exposed., yet triumphant. I was boldly claiming that my life was not going to be as rich and rewarding without Heath being a part of it. My need for him being that great. But at the same time, I was making a huge life decision, taking part in another person all the while offering myself to them. Being so independent my entire life, it took a lot for me to realize that I didn't need him. I have been my own person, doing my own thing, taking care of myself for a long time. BUT (and that's a big but(t)) I wanted him. And that want and desire had slowly melted into a need. It is such a whirlwind of emotion, but all I know is that when I got to the end of the aisle and was enveloped in Heath's arms, hearing my favorite 3 words, everything made complete sense.

We never took our eyes off one another for a second during the ceremony. It wasn't long. It was pretty much to the point. We didn't have a unity candle or anything like that. First, we couldn't have candles in the church, and second, that part in weddings just seem awkward. So in the spirit of "doing what we want," we forwent all that and cut right to the chase.The best part was the vows. I actually had friends who told me that they had never cried at a wedding until ours because it was so honest and genuine (this was so humbling to hear. What praise!). Heath went first and said the most personal promises I've ever been told, and then almost halfway through, he forgot them. His eyes got huge, and I felt his hand shake a bit while it held mine. It was so cute because he was in mid sentence, then said, "...and I forgot my vows..." Then they came back to him. He spoke to me as though it was just us, and though I did my best not to, I cried. I cried great big tears with every word he spoke. I was feeling such an element of exposure that I thanked God we had a small wedding. That would have been difficult with a huge crowd looking on. He had this assurance in his voice, this confidence. It was so calming, yet overwhelming and was very hard to follow. Though I had words rehearsed in my head, I sort of winged them. I took a breath and in my mindsaid, "Jordan, just tell him the truth." The words just flowed from me. How? I am unaware. Then all of a sudden, I FORGOT MY VOWS, TOO. By this point, I was at "ugly cry" status, so I relied on my fallback that I was sure would be a crowd-pleaser. "I PROMISE I WILL RESPECT YOUR CHOICE TO EAT SPAM!" I exclaimed in a shaky, tearful voice (this is a disagreement we had early on in our relationship over Spam and other kinds of potted/canned meat. I vowed early on not to make it or buy it but leave it up to him should he want it). It was a moodchanger. I followed it up with saying I would love him all of my days and that was that. Pops pronounced us, we kissed, and then we walked out to greet our guests for our reception.

...which I will tell you all about...tomorrow.

Thanks so much for reading.

xoxo,

Lady

*All photos by Heather Canterbury

planning a small wedding: dresses

First off, Happy Valentine's Day, errrrbody!

Hope you are having fun with someone you're crazy about or at least eating something super unhealthy while watching something great on TV. I, unfortunately, am at home, alone (the Hubs comes home at 3:00 a.m. AMEN), eating something healthy (boo), and watching one of my favorite romantic movies of all time, Ghost. Seriously doesn't get much better than young Demi and young P. Swayz, Whoopi, Unchained Melody, pottery, and that RIDICULOUS apartment. Some of the good things in life, friends.GOOD THINGS.

So, in case yous guys were wondering, I decided to blog about my wedding because I know there are some of you right now who are in the throws of planning your own. Or...you may not be anywhere close to planning a wedding, but you may find yourself in the position one day. Or you may just find it comical, my approach to planning a wedding.

Ok, dresses! I am not going to lie, I actually had really great success in finding my wedding dress early on and finding ones for my bridesmaids, too. The problem was getting said dresses delivered. More on that later.

Obviously when planning a wedding, you're going to have set out colors. I had originally wanted some fun bright jewel tones, but I didn't think that that would pair well with a Fall wedding. I had wanted simple, black and white striped dresses with bright jewel-toned tights for each bridesmaid. Cute but again, wasn't going to jive well with a Fall wedding. After that, I refused REFUSED to have a Fall-themed wedding. I didn't want anything super expected like that. I then went with a navy, cream, peach, and gold color scheme that I liked, but I just couldn't find any dresses that I liked. Everything changed when I finally saw THE dress.

I really wanted something vintage when it came to my own dress, but everything I found was either TINY or had a stain or was way out of my price range. Of course, all of this searching happened in the course of a few days but still. It felt like a lifetime. Heh. Then I got my answer via blog searching one day. I found a dress that I decided I would make my wedding dress on one of my favorite blogs: www.skunkboyblog.com

She posted photos and this one sold me:

via

Katie looks so dern cute, and though she and I have very different body types, I just thought this was me. It was full of whimsy and had that vintage feel that I was going for. Double plus bonus: the store was offering a discount via her blog, so this bad boy was less than $100. For some of you, this is a hot mess of a wedding dress. But that is the beauty of your wedding, my friends; you get to do WHATEVER YOU FEEL LIKE. (unless you feel like spending a lot of money you don't have...it which case, no, you cannot). I loved the flowers and bows, its non-traditional feel, and thought the details could pass for Fall colors. And there you go, I became a convert to a Fall-colored wedding. With the skirt being so voluminous and my hips being the same, I thought it best to add some height to my frame by wearing a tall heel. So I decided I wanted a closed-toe pump in orange, a dark chocolate shawl to cover my shoulders, bright red lips, and a birdcage veil to top it off. Now, this non-planner had a plan and now just had to tackle bridesmaids dresses.

Anyone who has planned a wedding can tell you: bridesmaids dresses can be THE WORST. Lucky for me, we had a super small wedding and coincidentally 2 attendants a piece. I had two of my best gals: my sister, Jade and my bff, Laura. The problem that occured here was sizing. My sister is short in stature and at the time, was going to be about 7 months pregnant on my wedding day. My bestie is tall and slim. So basically, I thought it was impossible to find a dress to accommodate them both comfortably and in chocolate brown, to boot. Something that'd fit in the waist for Jade and something that wouldn't be too short for Lar. Luckily, I have one of the greatest friends ever who just so happens to be the best at finding things, and she found a few dress options for me to look at. One of them was a convertible dress from Target that had straps that could wrap around the waist or neck to create different necklines. It was also made out of a jersey material, so I knew it would be comfortable and probably be something that they would wear again. Aaaaand it was on sale for $17. Again, I am a laid-back, thrifty person, so this worked for me. I also found burnt orange wedges at target.com that weren't too high for Jade and also wasn't going to make Laura be way too tall. They were buy one get one half off, and I got free shipping. (high fives all around). I ordered it all the same day and used the money my Mawmaw gave me to go toward my wedding to buy them. The problem with ordering online, though, is waiting and praying the postal system doesn't fail you.

I could write a novel about my experience with Target and my wedding, but I will spare you. Suffice it to say, Target failed me for the first time ever. Not trying to bash anyone but that was seriously one of the most stressful times of my life. Since I ordered two dresses and two pairs of shoes, they told me that I would receive my shipment in two installments. Well, I got the shoes, no problem, but days went by with no dresses. With this being a really short engagement, I couldn't do this. I called Target every day, and every day I spoke to someone who spoke broken English and couldn't understand the panic in my voice. They said they had the wrong address with the dresses, which is comical since I ordered it all at the same time on the same account. MOVING ON. What ended up happening was my mother reordered the dresses and had them overnighted the week before our wedding. ALL WAS SAVED. IT ALL WAS. Thanks, Momma! (Target gave me a refund and a $10 gift card for my trouble...thanks, Target...2 weeks after the fact).

To style my dress

• I bought 5 inch pumps from Modcloth, which gave me the height to offset the volume of the dress. I purchased ones with a small platform to make it comfortable, and they were insanely comfortable for the height.
• I also wore L'Oreal Infallible Never Fails Stars Collection Lipcolour in Beyonce Red. This stuff is UH-mazing. It doesn't matter what you're eating, kissing, whatever IT DOESN'T COME OFF. So, I knew that this was a way for me to wear my signature red lips, be all kinds smoochy with Heath, and not get anything on him. Score.
• My mother and I actually made my veil. It was definitely a two-person job, and I am pretty sure I lost a few fingertips in the process. Curse you, hot glue gun! (and thank you because we would never have made it without you.)I was inspired by the J.Crew birdcage veil below but was not about to justify spending $295 on the veil, I don't care if it was my day or not. #dropsmic So, we DIY'ed with netting from JoAnn's fabric bought with a coupon, a white headband, and some feather details for a grand total of about $6. Take THAT over-priced J.Crew veil. #dropsallthemics
  Perspective: That one veil would have been more than my dress, my bridemaids' dresses, aaaand all of our shoes. So seriously, J.Crew, shame on you. SHAME.

After all the trouble, I couldn't have been more pleased with the results. My day was the best, the very, very best.

Sorry, y'all, please don yourself with protective eye-wear when viewing those legs of mine.

Last 8 photos by Heather Canterbury.

So that is all for dresses, everyone! I apologize for this dissertation of a post.

Next up will be the boys, the wedding ceremony, and decor.
Thanks for reading :)
xoxo,
lady

spring has sprung, y'all.

saturday was a busy day for me, but the highlight was definitely taking spring photos for these 3 lovely gals. it was a fun day, for sure. i had a few minutes today, so i picked a couple from each to share.

xoxo,

lady

leah + billy

my dear friends billy and leah are GETTING MARRIED, and i couldn't be more thrilled. this post is overdue but i wanted to wait until they had a chance to look them over before i posted about them.

leah and i met my freshman year at OBU. we lived on the same hall (Franny C East 3!) but didn't really realize it until our boyfriends introduced us because THEY lived on the same hall as well. welp, boyfriends eventually left, and we ended up having a truly beautiful friendship out of the deal. a few of my favorite memories include (but are not limited to) : campus drive arounds and sitting in cars singing outloud, the zaragon photoshoot in hot springs, chi delta winter formal, playing manhunt at 3 a.m, and of course, the infamous Fayetteville trip (oh my...)

through the years, we've kept in contact and last year when i realized i had gotten the job in benton, i was beyond thrilled to be next to leah again. we had boyfriend breakups around the same time (again...) and being reunited just made things so much better. i remember our first time to hang out with billy at a travelers game. i thought to myself, "this boy has got.it.bad. for leah." (they'd known each other for 8 years) sure enough, i was right. i remember the excitement of the first date. hearing about the introduction of the families. then she and i formed what was dubbed "the sunday night family" with billy and his roommate tom. we got together every sunday night after church and shared a meal together (some of my favorite memories). through all this, i watched them fall in love. when billy told me he was proposing, i was ecstatic i was even MORE ecstatic when i realized i would be witnessing it all go down in hot springs.

these two are two of my all-time favorites. i am terribly saddened to not be able to be in or attend their wedding (boo for scheduling conflicts but yay for extremely lovely couple whose wedding i'll be shooting the same day in kansas!). HOWEVER, i am supremely honored to be shooting some of their photos before. we had just days to plan this because shortly after the proposal, billy headed out to palo alto for a new job. as you can tell, my friends are so fun (wish i could show the outtakes. ha)

probably my personal fave :)

much love to you my sweet friends. i have enjoyed so much getting to be part of your journey.

xoxo,

lady

growing up

there is that moment (for me it was in my late teens) when you realize you are growing up and that's that--no going back. some take it better than others, and being the old soul i have always (ALWAYS) been, i never took it well.

lately, i have taken the idea of aging gracefully and thought about what a beautiful thing that truly is. now before this thing gets out of hand and you think this post is all about me (pshhhh...), it most certainly is not.  growing up has always been something i've thought about in the strict reflection of myself. recently, though, those thoughts have swiftly kicked my boo-tayyy when i realized that not only have i grown up but so have my younger siblings. the babies (the youngest 4) will forever hold that title with me, no matter if they're 6 or 36. jade and callahan are closer in age to me, so it was no shocker that we'd evolve into the adults we've become.

but my heart literally fell when i looked at these photos of my sister, cameron grace. camie just got her braces off and is following in her sisters's footsteps in loving accessories and clothing. my mother asked me if i'd take her out for a quick photo session to celebrate her cuteness and the liberation of the teeth (we've all been there, right? isn't it the greatest feeling EVER? i swear i could have been the 'chubby bunny' queen after my braces were off--all that room!) so here i was looking at this super cute young lady who i held in my arms, diapered her butt, saw off to kindergarten (and then a week later, i started my freshman year of college), now with a big ol' future ahead. she was my family's very first adoption and stole our hearts immediately.

growing up. we're all doing it, so why does it feel like i'm just now figuring this out?

and my personal fave:

yay, camie. celebrating you and your future. you are loved more than you will ever know :)